Today my friend informed me that he felt “2017 is going really well so far”. Granted, three days in and for him I suppose it is. I, however, beg to differ based on the political atmosphere of our country and on a more petty level… the state of my life.
Granted, I suppose I feel this way every year. Why would this be any different?
I just found out that my friend who I’d been heavily crushing on asked out my other friend… who he also knew I liked. It’s like a messed up love triangle that is pretty much just a “V” shape with some one-sided arrows. I mean, he made it clear he didn’t like me- but he didn’t even give me a week to recover before asking out my friend- who has been my girl-crush since college- who he knew I liked. (Sounds like an episode of Degrassi…)
OK, OK… I understand he doesn’t owe me anything. I just found the whole thing awfully shady and not… nice?
Though, I suppose I’m projecting many of my other issues onto this stupid situation. It’s a new year so it’s time to wash my hands of this. And what’s a better way then writing about my feelings and making a bunch of goals I know will lose steam halfway through January?
GOAL #1: Meet new people.
I have friends… though they’re all from different parts of my life and don’t really know each other…
I need to meet new people. It’s not that I want to lose my friends- they’re swell. I just need to get out there, because at this rate I’m practically an X-Men with my powers of invisibility.
I was never so reserved/awkward as a child. Where did it even come from? High school? I feel like high school is always the perfect excuse for any social deficiency.
GOAL #2: Try to smile.
That awkward moment when I dressed up as Wednesday Addams for Halloween, but I might as well have just been myself.
I have a resting bitch-face and smiling just… requires so much extra effort. I can only smile naturally for children, but adults? Fat chance.
This goal might be the hardest one yet.
GOAL #3: Try to exercise.
I take it back… this is obviously my hardest goal.
Exercise is just… not enjoyable. I genuinely respect people who love working out but also think they’re masochists because… why?
You work so hard and IN THE ENDDDDD IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER. It takes weeks- MONTHS to see results. I crave instant gratification- I want my results now!
GOAL #4: Get a job.
All right… I am going to get there. I’ve applied to some. Now it’s just a matter of actually getting hired and going for GOLD.
It would probably help if I actually studied for my certification test, which is in 9 days… goal 5: stop procrastinating?
GOAL #5 THE FINAL AND MOST IMPORTANT GOAL: Learn to love myself again.
God- for awhile 2016 had me going: I was a bad bitch who didn’t care about anyone or anything.
Somewhere along the line I lost sight of myself. I started actually caring what others thought of me and tried to be something I’m not. Screw that.
I know who I am and I’m going to make 2017 my bitch.